Author: johnnylostinthewoods

Early summer has arrived.  In some ways I really thought I'd be gone by now.   Other times it feels like I'll never leave and I'm back on the hamster wheel everyday.  The winter was long and hard but it's gone now.  Dandelions and fast growing grass has taken the place of thick blanket of snow that covered my … Continue reading The Tree, the Wall and Me

Preamble:  Do I feel this way everyday?  No, not everyday.  Many days though.  I wrote this on the 2nd of January 2017.  At the time I was hurting - a lot.  So why am I posting this now?  Because these feelings were real.  I think this captures a feeling that I find myself falling into from … Continue reading The Depreciated Me

The sun is blasting bright through my bedroom window reflecting against the mirror in front of me.  I can see more than I usually do.  It's not good.  I'm standing in front of my bathroom sink with a pair of scissors.  In the sink there's more than a handful of stray gray hairs from my beard.  … Continue reading True Colors in Black & White

Music. When everything else is gone, music remains. So with that understanding, music is everything.  When you listen for it, it's everywhere. It's the sound of a heavy celluloid guitar pick against the fresh 80/20 phosphor-bronze acoustic strings or the flesh on your thumb when you lose your pick inside the soundhole of your guitar. … Continue reading Music: Ghosts and Memories

I'm hurting right now.  Deeply.  Hurt comes in many forms.  You can be physically hurt.  You can have your pride hurt.  In my case, my heart is hurting.  Some might say why even write this blog?  Aren't all of your blogs about hurting and loss?  On a basic level, yes but this is different.  I'm … Continue reading Hurting: 2017 Style

2017.  One month in.  February 1st.  The winter has been tough.  Mentally, socially, emotionally but even more so physically!  The roughest winter since 2007 or so I'm told.  50 inches of snow just in December.  Crazy cold.  Like negative double digits cold. And now it's February.  The shortest month of the year and in North Dakota … Continue reading Keep off the ice

There's paint on the bottom step.  Well... there used to be.  It's hard to see and if I didn't tell you, you'd probably never see it.  But that doesn't mean that it's not there... or that it didn't exist... or wasn't hard to get out... because it was.  Damn hard. It's been awhile since I … Continue reading There used to be…

I'm still here.  Still adrift but in some ways, I can see a path that I couldn't see before.  I'm not going to lie, I'm still not 100% sure how to connect A to B but honestly, what choice does one have?  You either do it or you don't. There was a big part of … Continue reading Is 2017 the new 2016?

I shouldn't complain about it.  While this has personally been the most terrible year of my life, the weather stuck it out for me (it's my blog - it's my weather) for as long as it could.  I appreciate that.  Two days ago was Saturday.  It was in the mid 50's and I had on … Continue reading Winter’s blanket